Quick Work
The telephone rang at the police headquarters. “I just stepped out the backdoor and someone hit me over the head,” shouted the excited caller. “Sit tight. A man will be right out,” he was informed. A short time later, the officer sent to investigate, returned. “You solved that in a hurry,” the desk sergeant said. The investigating officer nodded. “I stepped on the same rake as he did.”
No Problem
Ten year old David was reprimanded by his teacher about his penmanship. “you are a very poor scribe, David. I just don’t know what to do about it,” said the teacher. “You don’t need to worry about me. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to be a doctor, anyway,” replied the boy.
Mamma can’t Afford
Wilma, aged three, occasionally reminded of the fact that mother couldn’t “afford” certain things, lokoed in baby brother’s mouth and said, “No teeth, mamma can’t afford it.”
I made Her Happy
“Children to become good try to do at least one good deed which brings pleasure to another. Now, who did one today? You, Henry?” “Yes, teacher, I’ve already visited my auntie this morning and she was very pleased when I went away.”
A Transfer
“Did you hear about our weather man? He’s being transferred to another city.” “I wonder why?” “Seems the weather doesn’t agree with him.”
Hasty Conclusions
“I’m sure my parachute won’t open,” said the nervous beginner. “You see I packed it myself.” “Then,” said the instructor, “I would say that you’re jumping to a hasty conclusion.”
Not Even The Manager
“I can’t eat this garbage!” shouted the angry diner. “Get the manager.” “It won’t do any good,” said the waiter. “He refuses to eat it too.”
Just the Opposite
There was a dear little baby on the train, and a gentleman opposite said: “A fine child, madam, I trust he will grow into an upright and honourable man.” “Yes,” smiled the mother, “but it will be rather difficult.” “As the twig is bent, so thw tree’s inclined,” the gentleman said encouragingly. “But the trouble is,” replied teh mother, “the twig is bent on being a girl.”
Leg Hudson?
Visitor: “Excuse me, but do you know a man in this village with one leg named Hudson?” Native: “Don’t think so. What’s the name of the other leg.”