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The Good Samaritan
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked
the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,
what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think
I'd throw up."
Story of Elijah
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the
Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the
altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And
then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour
it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now," said the teacher, "can
anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the
steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started waving her
hand, "I know, I know," she said, "to make the gravy."
Lot's Wife
The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned
into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back
once while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "an she turned into a
telephone pole!"
Did Noah Fish?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing
when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two
worm?."
Higher Power
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can
anybody tell me what it is? One child blurted out, "Aces!"
Sunday School Version
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a
rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea,
he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across
safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his
mother asked. "Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd
never beleive it."